We donate old clothes to Good Will, a little money to public television, and an equally small amount to any political candidate as long as she’s a Democrat. So when we heard that the Malouf Family Newsletter was being resurrected, we wanted to donate something. This contribution won’t win the “Pullet Surprise,” but at least the Marrin side of the family will be represented. We’d like to donate:

The shiny red Armani coat that Peg wore to Ed and Marie’s 50th Wedding Anniversary, the one that Pete called a bed jacket. Yes, Peg still has it.
Our inscribed names (with Peg in BIGGER FONT than Bill) on Peter’s coveted White Elephant Trophy to next year’s winner.
Brian’s spud-mashing drill attachment to the creator of a new show called “Potato Boss.”
The broomstick that Peg has used for transportation to a younger woman.
Our collection of green plastic buttons that say, “Kiss me, I’m Irish.”

What we won’t give up is our claim to a Lebanese heritage and our right to brag about all of you as if we had some part in your upbringing. Nor will we relinquish our place at the table and the chance to bring ham to the family gatherings. We still want to watch Wayne’s videos of holidays as far back as 1979 and recognize that we were welcomed as family from the very first. We won’t give up seeing the young Maloufs light up when the musical Megan arrives at family parties. Or PawPaw’s capable assistance in recruiting Texas basketball players for Molly Me Darling at the University of San Francisco, or his reminder that Danny’s parents saved the best for last. We won’t divulge the TOP Secret of Royal’s rum cake, although I must confess that a slightly tipsy Book Club member did copy the recipe. I won’t relinquish my copy of Mimi’s cookbook or the chance to try all the recipes that taste and smell like home. If the neighbors across Norway—nice people in their own right—try to usurp our position in the family, we’ll just have to hire an attorney. Will Natalie ever call them Aunt Peg and Uncle Bill? I think not.